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Consequently, it became difficult to distinguish whether the punishments, such as receiving demerits for missing a class, were meted out as academic penalty or as spiritual rebuke for disregarding authority.Of course, we were always told that BJU was “God’s Special Place for You,” so any action of theirs, academic or not, was done in the name of spiritual ministry, which labeled any potential questioning as rebellious.
This was purposely done to bifurcate my two opposing queer identities and to ensure that no one at BJU would know about this side of me.
Even at this point in my time at BJU when I was still a fervent, optimistic defender of the university, I knew that rules were strongly enforced.
There was even less stigma attached to a group of guys or girls going to these events without the opposite sex.
(Though no one ever really said it, it felt like we were viewing these events as more of a requirement to fulfill rather than as an “opportunity,” especially when these events would be scheduled at inconvenient times, like during the school week.) For the most part, I wanted to participate in finding this “opportunity” and would make an effort in taking a girl, but as much as I wanted the concept of a serious date, I never felt a real physical connection.
Bob Jones University’s dating parlor through the decades (1940s — present day) I thoroughly enjoyed and participated in the literary society I joined—I purposefully chose the one my father had been in—so I made sure to attend each dating outing and was also asked throughout my undergrad years to the occasional dating outing from a female friend here and there, but these moments never lead to anything serious.